= FAVOURITE WORD =
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight.
[NIV]
New phase. More changes.
What would the future bring?
Friday, April 27, 2007
Happy Thoughts
Hello! Week 6 has gone by in a flash. I've been terribly busy as usual, so it's been lights out earlier than usual for me this week. I'm just so glad the week's over! WHEE! =)
By the way, my parents have left for China really early this morning. When I woke up for work, they had left. I'm home very early for once on a Friday. Hehe. Such wonderful peace. x)
Best of all, I'm meeting the girls tomorrow! They're all coming over my place to R 'n R. It's our term for "Rest and Relax". ;D And it's about time we met up. The last time I saw any of them was at Mel's place before Joce flew off to France for her vacation. Gosh, that's like around one month back. Too long. Far too long a period not to see them. I miss everybody loads!
Examinations are in a week's time. Time really flies. It flashes by even faster as you grow older. I'm not kidding. This year, so far, has been going by really quick for me. I guess it's because I've been having quite a bit of fun this semester - despite all the naughty pupils I have to teach in class. Heh.
Alright, I'm not really in the mood to blog much, so I'll just end here.
Here's a happy weekend to all! ^_^
jOyZ blogged at 5:33 PM
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Sunday, April 22, 2007
Plans Gone Awry
I'd planned to go for a haircut and facial yesterday after school in the morning. Unfortunately, my plans went awry because of the accident. =\
I don't think I want to elaborate. It's something not very pleasant after all. I'm just thankful that no one got hurt.
Well, I wonder how I'm going to finish what I've set out to do today. I've promised Yani certain things and I have to fulfil it. Sigh. I guess I'd better start committing everything into God's hands again. It's just too exhausting to carry the burden on my own.
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jOyZ blogged at 12:50 PM
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Friday, April 20, 2007
Choir Went Crazy! Praise God!
Choir's performance today was not too bad, though it wasn't as impressive as the one they gave during SYF. Heh. To be fair to them, the school hall wasn't designed for musical performances, so they couldn't really hear the piano and were a tad bit too fast. I suspect they were also affected by the heat and humidity.
They went completely crazy in the Commerce Room yesterday while waiting for their turn to perform at the concert. They were singing and laughing so much. I've never seen them bursting with so much joy and energy before! Marilyn, Ai Ming and I had a great many laughs watching them. They were actually having fun together so spontaneously - like a great team should! =)
Well, they have finally tasted the sweetness of receiving the Silver Award. I'm sure they will be a lot more motivated to improve themselves. It's the kind of Choir that any teacher-in-charge would like to see - one that works hard together and knows how to have fun together.
Hah, I tried to be stern with them yesterday (being afraid that we were creating a racket that might affect the concert in the hall) but I gave up. They were simply overflowing with zest and happiness and I thought, what the heck, they deserved to go crazy for once. We ordered pizzas for them - courtesy of Mabel, our Choir Advisor - but there wasn't enough to go round, though almost everyone did have at least a slice! GAH! Anyway, we'll have another round of celebration after the exams. Hopefully, everyone can and will turn up.
It's been a day of extreme highs and lows, intense excitement and drama - a rollercoaster of emotions that have affected me quite a fair bit. I wouldn't say they were good or bad - it was really a steep learning curve for me here, handling everything at one go for the first time. Well, I tried my best not to show how affected I was until the day at work finally ended and most people had left. I quickly packed up what I could for Choir and cleared the rubble on my table before rushing off to pick my brother up at his girlfriend's place.
I've never felt so exhausted before. The past 2 days of events reminded me of how quickly I could slump into some kind of depression each time after serving on the pulpit together with the worship team. I wonder why I felt like that this time. It's been quite a while since I experienced this. Anyway, I'm just so glad I committed Choir into God's hands because, looking back and from all the feedback given to us by Ai Ming on their SYF performance, it was more than just human factor. There were certain things which came to pass because of prayer in spite of all the panic caused by several crisis. For instance, the super-late delivery and purchase of the costumes which turned out fine eventually, and Ai Ming's absence really made me wonder if Choir could achieve our target - and we did! I am no prayer warrior of lengthy words but I guess God listens to all prayers - lengthy or brief - in His Precious Son's name. Thank You, dear Lord.
And now, I'm SO READY to concuss... I bade thee goodnight, world!
jOyZ blogged at 11:47 PM
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A Heart Of Thanksgiving
The Quest Choir banner designed by Marilyn for CCA Open House
Praise God! He's answered our prayers! Quest Choir has clinched a Silver Award for the Central Judging of Choirs this year! YAYS!!!
While the Choir was performing on stage, Marilyn and I were like listening out for errors. Each time we thought we heard a mistake, our hearts skipped a beat. But there was no doubt it was one of their best performances and we could tell that they gave their 100% - perhaps even more. I'd never seen them ALL so expressive while singing before. LOL. Prior to their performance on stage, they were doing their last round of warm-up in The Terrace. When I heard them sing and saw their grinning faces, I had this inexplicable sense of happiness within me and I could feel the tears threatening to flow. I fought hard to maintain my composure. I think Ai Ming saw. Haha...
During the announcements of the results, I was busy scribbling the results of all the schools who had performed on the 3rd day of SYF Central Judging of Choirs. My hands were shaking so badly that my handwriting was terribly illegible. Then it came: "Queenstown Secondary School - Silver." *screams screams SCREAMSSSS* We were ELATED!!! How I wished the entire Choir was there to share the joy together!
Then when we heard the results of Dunman High and ACSI, we couldn't believe our ears. *blinks* I was like o_O!?! Okay, so never mind. I'm just extremely thankful for our own results. The kids had worked very hard and so did Marilyn and I. I'm glad we stayed together for all the sessions with the Choir instead of taking charge of them on alternate sessions. We realised both of us had to stay in order to push them to reach their potential. One teacher just wasn't enough.
Though many afternoons were burnt, I ended up enjoying watching how the kids improve. It was really an eye-opener to watch how Ai Ming trained them. Just only 3 weeks back, we were panicking because the kids seemed to have reached their plateau in their singing. They weren't even trying to look enthusiastic except for a handful of them who naturally enjoyed singing. We were extremely worried because we couldn't have a listless Choir singing 3 songs on the stage during SYF. No matter how fantastic they sounded, they wouldn't go anywhere near Silver with blank facial expression.
Ai Ming suggested bringing them for a practice session at SLO where the studios were designed for musical practices. It was a BRILLIANT move. I think the kids finally heard how good they could sound together as a team. I'd never heard the kids sing so well before. When I heard them sing that afternoon session, I had goosebumps - and they hadn't even started learning how to be expressive yet! I got really excited: we had a strong chance of getting the Silver Award!
Then more crisis came unexpectedly. The going got really tough when Ai Ming fell ill. The kids missed several practices with her the following 2 weeks - a very critical period because, usually, this is the time she trains them for all the expressions and other elements important for a good performance. Marilyn and I even cancelled a couple of practices because we were at our wits' ends. One week before SYF, we decided whether Ai Ming was around or not, the kids still had to practise. So we watched them do their warm-up and made them sing. Thankfully, Shuhan was free and could come down to play the songs. Otherwise, it would have been utterly disastrous and useless to make them practise without Ai Ming. It'd be like reinforcing whatever mistakes they had in their singing over and over. The Choir practices ended later and later. We even left school a couple of times only at 730pm.
At the same time, we faced some problems with the girls' costumes. The tailor couldn't deliver them on time because some of our girls had gone down too late to the tailor's to get their measurements taken! We were also running to and fro to settle the boys' costumes. It was a crazy period of time. What made it worse was some pupils were beginning to develop flu symptoms. Marilyn and I started discussing whether we should buy some herbal medicine for the kids to take... or prepare hot honey for them to drink after practices. But, we always ended up being with the kids during the sessions so much so that we couldn't walk away to prepare the drinks for them. So, yeh, the pot of honey is still in the fridge. Haha...
Well, in any case, it was worth it. We achieved our target: SILVER! DREAM THE SILVER, BREATHE THE SILVER, *BE* THE SILVER! I'm really happy for Choir and proud of them. Ai Ming is, too. When I sent her a message via SMS to inform her of our results, I could sense the joy and pride she had from her reply.
Now that it's all over... wait a minute! There's still the school's Speech-and-Prize-Giving Day - tomorrow! Or rather, today. It's already past midnight.
I'm exhausted. But I'm too excited to sleep!
jOyZ blogged at 12:26 AM
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Monday, April 16, 2007
Preparation For SYF 2007
The preparation for the SYF Central Judging of Choirs this year is driving me crazy. *ahhhhh!!!!!*
I just got home after a very late session with the Choir which ended at about 7pm. It was pure madness while the costumes were given out to the girls. The entire room was worse than a fish market. I'm having a throbbing headache now. As usual, I couldn't get any work done because Choir kept me busy. I'm so exhausted that I decided not to join Cheryl and Pei Chin for marking.
There are two important dates this week for Choir: SYF Central Judging on 19 April and the school's Speech-and-Prize-Giving Day on 20 April. Two major events back to back. It's a terrible stress but I've been enjoying the entire process even though there were several hiccups along the way. Three more days to go and I hope nothing majorly wrong will occur. *prays hard*
I've already arranged for an appointment with my hairstylist and for facial this Saturday. I feel like crap over the past few weeks. I look horrendous too. The pores on my face are badly clogged and my hair is an incredible mess - utterly hideous! It's about time I tidy up my appearance.
Oh, here's something really random. I find the poster for the movie Premonition really cool.
What do you see? Heh heh.
Watch it! It should be coming our way soon. Akan datang!
jOyZ blogged at 7:54 PM
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Friday, April 13, 2007
Waves Of Frustrations
Crisis after crisis. The pressure is steadily mounting.
It didn't help when the dam broke - despite the every bit of effort to contain the frustrations over two occasions.
The first happened at work. Angry as I was, I bit my tongue to refrain myself from saying something unpleasant to the person who triggered the whole thing. Back in the staffroom, I ranted very briefly to a colleague, who advised me to cool down, and to another via SMS. She said it wasn't worth getting angry over such a person. I took quite a while to settle my emotions. My day, which had started pleasantly enough, was rudely messed up.
The second took place just a few hours ago. My dad went ballistic on me and kicked up a huge fuss over something which was of no fault of mine. I tried explaining but he kept grouching over the whole issue. It was the last straw. I felt something snap within me and I started a whole tirade of him being antagonistic and not supportive enough, and I didn't need him to give me added stress and frustration, especially when I've been getting a lot of these at work. I think he was shocked at my outburst and was speechless for a while.
The next time he spoke, his tone was kind. But he added one statement to show his displeasure at how I'd handled the culprit: "I'd have scolded the fellow and lodged a complaint."
I could feel another wave of frustration rising and bit my tongue again. I inhaled deeply and forced myself to speak slowly and calmly: "I would like to do that too, but it wouldn't solve the problem. I think it's more important and urgent to solve the problem before I do any scolding or complaining." Then I added one more statement for his benefit: "I'll do the scolding and complaining once everything is settled."
He didn't say anymore. And that was that.
If only people would learn to LISTEN. Do they understand what it means to listen?
I can spell everything out clearly and plainly but they don't listen. I really don't know why. I don't speak bad English nor is my English of such high standard that I can't be understood.
Listening is more than just opening your ears to hear what a person is saying. It involves thinking and follow-up action is necessary. Otherwise, it's simply hearing (imagine the words floating in through the left ear and out again through the right).
Sigh.
jOyZ blogged at 11:11 PM
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Tuesday, April 10, 2007
安宁
唱: 孙燕姿
作曲: 林倛玉
作词: 林倛玉
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夜的宁静 是时候好好反省
月的阴晴 圆缺就像我的心
夜下着雨 天在哭泣
不知道何时才放晴
我忽然非常想念你
你的背影 让我失去了理性
你的放弃 让我迷失了自己
你的离去就像刺青
永远烙印在我的心
是如此痛而如此的美丽
我努力的想哭泣
却哭不出泪滴
一次又一次的灰心
才发现早已麻痹
终于发现自己
已经不在乎你
原来分手
也能如此安宁
Such peace. =)
jOyZ blogged at 9:50 PM
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Saturday, April 07, 2007
A Comparatively Stressless Week
I can't believe I'm up so early after having slept for only about 4 hours. And I'm not the least bit sleepy either. Heh. I guess I don't want to waste too much time sleeping this long weekend. ;P
It's been a fairly comparatively stressless week. Choir practice on Monday was cancelled because Ai Ming lost her voice and the one on Friday was cancelled too because it was a public holiday. I went home relatively early this week, but was no less exhausted. So most of the time, when I got home in the late afternoon or early evening, it was complete concussion.
The school's Sports Day was on Thursday and it ended at around noon - right on schedule! Cheryl, Yani and I went for lunch at Holland Village. I was a little spaced out though. I guess it was due to the terrible heat at the stadium that morning and I did blow the whistle quite a while to cheer the kids on. Despite not having done well in the cheering competition, Alexandrians were second in place this year - just ONE POINT (*stabs the heart*) away from the champion house, Belvedere.
That was that. I napped my entire afternoon away and then met Cheryl and Hwei Leng for dinner at Sage. We snapped photos of certain items. I shall not go into why we did it. HAHAHHAH... We were simply being frivolous for a while. ;p The picture of the candle on the right was taken by yours truly. x) The food was good though. We enjoyed our soups, main courses and desserts. We were so hungry that we didn't take any pictures of the food, so I can't display how delicious the dishes looked. Haha... The dinner was actually a belated birthday treat for Hwei Leng.
I had another dinner last night. My bestie came back from Hong Kong and I met up with her and her friends for some local flair at Newton. It didn't take me long to realise I was in the company of 3 lawyers. xO At times, what they talked about was completely lost on me. Ugh. I felt so brainless for once. But to be fair to them, they talked very little about work, so it wasn't too bad. We went for drinks after dinner and then moved on to have prata at Evans Road. By the time I sent my bestie back and reached home, it was around 1.30am.
Feeling too stuffed with food to sleep, I actually had a 2-hour chat with Joce via MSN. I haven't seen her since she returned from her France trip 2 (or 3?) weeks ago. We planned to have dinner tonight after I'm done with the Choir practice-cum-workshop later this afternoon.
It's been quite an eventful week I'd say. I've been invited to another dinner this coming Tuesday. It's going to be seafood this time - somewhere in the East. My bestie has offered to drive. And oh, more lawyers. I have nothing against them really - after all, my bestie is a lawyer herself. It's just feels so strange to be the only teacher. Hahaha... Oh wells... I'll see if I'm too exhausted from work that day to join them.
jOyZ blogged at 8:03 AM
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Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Which Is More Important?
Here I am again. Another day has passed. Mid-week will be upon us soon. April is indeed moving.
I grabbed a cab home and was too tired to carry even a decent conversation with the friendly driver. He finally said, "I can tell from the look on your face you are exhausted." Oh boy, what an understatement.
I'm actually dying to take a nap now, but I'm afraid I'll only wake up hours later and end up taking a late dinner and sleeping late. Worst of all, I'll get no work done. Sigh.
We only have limited time at hand. Which is more important - our responsibilities or our heart's desires?
jOyZ blogged at 7:02 PM
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Simply Not Coping
March has come and left. April is upon us. It's really terrifying sometimes how swiftly time flies. More often than not, I feel like the Mad Hatter. x\
I cancelled Choir practice today because there were just too many things going on. Besides I was (still am) exhausted. But the main reason was really because Ai Ming had lost her voice over the weekend and it was just impossible for her to conduct the practice session.
I thought I could leave school early for once on Monday. Unfortunately, a few crisis came up and by the time the issues were more or less settled, it was already 4.35pm when I signed out at the General Office. I reached home, hoping to set the examination papers, but I zonked out and didn't wake up until 10pm. It was then that I had dinner. I was famished. I hadn't eaten the whole day. =(
I should be losing weight, but I'm not. Now that I've finally recovered from the flu which lasted one whole month since CNY, I'm too busy and tired to exercise. This morning (or rather yesterday morning), I woke up and had a terrible sneezing fit. My throat's been itchy over the weekend. I fear another flu is looming.
I'm blogging to keep myself awake so that I don't sleep so quickly after the late dinner. Sigh. After a long nap, I'm still so tired. I slept quite a lot on Saturday and woke up early on Sunday feeling most refreshed. Unfortunately, it was back to dead exhaustion after work on Monday. I don't know how I'm going to carry on for the rest of the term.
It's been a challenging year so far. I'm not coping very well - all the administrative work for my form class is in a mess because I'm having a difficult time trying to train my committee to work. I really appreciate and miss Sherlyn and John all the more. Although they started out shakily as the Monitress and Monitor in Secondary 3, they grew more confident and by the time they were in Secondary 5, they were carrying out their duties with great initiative. I became so reliant on them then that collecting forms and money from my present form class now has become a total nightmare. x( Miss Han and Carol have been chasing me for a lot of things and the high absenteeism rate in my class just isn't helping. It's so difficult to get hold of some of them, let alone their parents. With so many to call, how is it possible for me to record everything? Where does that leave me for lesson preparation?
Perhaps I'm really incompetent, but I've tried my best so I really shouldn't feel sorry. Sometimes, I ask myself: is it worthwhile sacrificing my health and sanity for all this? Who's going to compensate me when I fall ill? The MOE? Pupils? Colleagues? Definitely not. Honestly, I'm on my own.
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If I appear incompetent, I can only say that I'm doing the best I can. If my best is still inadequate, I have nothing to say. I'm going to say what many fellow colleagues fear to face and declare in public: I'm simply NOT coping. I've said it. So there!
That said, I'll just continue to cope the best way I can. Whatever the outcome, I guess I'll just have to trust in God.
Something random: I like 孙燕姿's 逆光, 安宁 and 需要你 from her latest album.
jOyZ blogged at 12:34 AM
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Best of all, I'm meeting the girls tomorrow! They're all coming over my place to R 'n R. It's our term for "Rest and Relax". ;D And it's about time we met up. The last time I saw any of them was at Mel's place before Joce flew off to France for her vacation. Gosh, that's like around one month back. Too long. Far too long a period not to see them. I miss everybody loads!
That was that. I napped my entire afternoon away and then met Cheryl and Hwei Leng for dinner at Sage. We snapped photos of certain items. I shall not go into why we did it. HAHAHHAH... We were simply being frivolous for a while. ;p The picture of the candle on the right was taken by yours truly. x) The food was good though. We enjoyed our soups, main courses and desserts. We were so hungry that we didn't take any pictures of the food, so I can't display how delicious the dishes looked. Haha... The dinner was actually a belated birthday treat for Hwei Leng.
March has come and left. April is upon us. It's really terrifying sometimes how swiftly time flies. More often than not, I feel like the Mad Hatter. x\
It's been a challenging year so far. I'm not coping very well - all the administrative work for my form class is in a mess because I'm having a difficult time trying to train my committee to work. I really appreciate and miss Sherlyn and John all the more. Although they started out shakily as the Monitress and Monitor in Secondary 3, they grew more confident and by the time they were in Secondary 5, they were carrying out their duties with great initiative. I became so reliant on them then that collecting forms and money from my present form class now has become a total nightmare. x( Miss Han and Carol have been chasing me for a lot of things and the high absenteeism rate in my class just isn't helping. It's so difficult to get hold of some of them, let alone their parents. With so many to call, how is it possible for me to record everything? Where does that leave me for lesson preparation?.JPG)
If I appear incompetent, I can only say that I'm doing the best I can. If my best is still inadequate, I have nothing to say. I'm going to say what many fellow colleagues fear to face and declare in public: I'm simply NOT coping. I've said it. So there!