Tuesday, January 31, 2006
More On Attention And Such
More often than not, I think I've given my share of attention to other people. I still am. Not that I'm complaining or what. Sometimes, it's really nice to feel people tell you more probably because they trust you? Well, it could be other not-so-nice reasons too, but I don't want to go into that.
But it just gets on my nerves when the attention given isn't appreciated. Here I am spending time (and not to mention effort) listening to someone. Do you know, how tiring it is to *listen to* (not hear) people talk? It would be so nice to just receive a concerned "What about you? How are you?" or "How has your day been?" or even a simple "Hello!" might suffice.
Well, I admit I don't go around showering people with all my attention ALL the time. I mean, there are just days when I simply don't want to talk nor show any concern. I just want to be, you know, alone.
Sigh. I don't know why I'm blogging about this anyway. After I logged off last night, I couldn't sleep and thought a lot. I wonder why I should even dwell on such things? It's so... trivial... childish. Probably something an adult should not focus on?
On a lighter note, some ex-pupils are coming over to visit me now. Well, at least there's some appreciation there... for the 3-5 years of sweat, blood and tears. Of course, there were fun and laughter.
I miss them all.
jOyZ blogged at 10:43 AM
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Attention To...? For...? Whatever...
It sure feels painful to be neglected, ignored or being taken for granted. Maybe that is why most people clamour for attention. There are some though who are a lot more attention-hungry than others. I guess people generally just want to be given the chance to say their piece and be heard.
Do I want attention? Yeah, I guess I do. I'd be lying if I say 'no'. I mean, if you give your attention to another person, it shows to some extent that you care enough to listen to that person, right? So, who doesn't want to be cared for?
That said, there are people who want to have attention for self-glory. Am I like that too? I don't think so. Yet, why do I get the feeling that some people are tired whenever they are with me? Do I really demand THAT much from them?
Sigh. Sometimes I wish I weren't human. Life might be a lot simpler if I were a dog, a bug, an amoeba, a blade of grass, or maybe even something non-living - a chair.
jOyZ blogged at 1:32 AM
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Sunday, January 29, 2006
CNY Visiting
I didn't wear my favourite pair of sparkly jeans in the end. I figured my parents would give me The Evil Eye if i had. Haha. I wore this floral skirt which I'd bought from USA a year and a half back. It's one of my favourite skirts - very cheery and pretty. LOL.
CNY visiting wasn't as bad as I'd thought. Phew! No one asked any sensitive, nerve-wrecking questions. Double phews! And I ate a lot! *groan* I must really really go back to gym after CNY.
Alright, now that I'm done with visiting and am home, I don't know what to do. No, NOT work. I don't want to mark - yet.
What to do... what to do...
*drums fingers... drums drums drums...*
jOyZ blogged at 8:22 PM
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Happy CNY!
It's the first day of Chinese New Year. I woke up not too long ago, having only slept at 5am this morning. -_o
CNY Eve was boring and most tiring. After waking up at 10am, I started cleaning up my room and didn't finish until past 5pm. My relatives came over for reunion dinner and we had catered food, which was cold by the time we started eating. What a pity. The dishes would have tasted a lot better if they'd arrived later and still warm. So we just sat around, ate and talked, watching Godzilla on TV at the same time.
After everyone had left, I came online and chatted a while with some friends. I didn't log off until 3am, and decided I was too hungry to sleep. Haha. My brother was still downstairs watching TV, so I went down to the living room to snack and watch TV too. He went to bed after a short while but I continued watching until 5am. Demolition Man was just starting on HBO around that time, but I decided to go to sleep.
So, I've only like 6 hours of sleep. No one has come to visit yet. Or maybe they have come and gone. Hohohoh... I'm probably going visiting either during lunch or right after lunch. We usually go over my nanny's place for food.
Gosh, I'm so bored now. Hm, maybe I should check my wardrobe to see what I can wear for today. I didn't buy any new clothes for this festive occasion. I'm probably going to be in my sparkly jeans with plain blouse or something. Whee!
HAPPY CNY TO ALL!
jOyZ blogged at 11:12 AM
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Thursday, January 26, 2006
Flunked! Along With Some Rants
Alright. I flunked Advanced Theory AGAIN. Bah. This marks my fourth attempt - actually the first after a five-year hiatus.
A couple of reasons for the F grade:
1) Exhaustion
2) Did not study
Exhaustion was caused by a hectic schedule at work today. Out of the four classes I taught today, I punished some pupils from one class and walked out in anger from another. So it wasn't exactly a pleasant day at work - although the class I walked out from did redeem themselves by being on task when I returned (after two pupils came to the staffroom to ask me to go back).
Sigh. I told the class - the next time I were to walk out of the class, I would not go back and they could enjoy the free time and subsequently get even more demoralised when they see their horrible grades for English at the end of Term 1.
I've just had about enough tardiness from these GRADUATING CLASSES (mind you, NOT lower secondary pupils). And it's really not fair to the ones who put in effort for my lessons. I think I shall just throw these disinterested ones outside the class. Since they think they're so smart and perhaps even excessively prosperous to have their own private lessons with British-accented tutors, I'll just focus my attention on pupils who really need help at school.
jOyZ blogged at 10:08 PM
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Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Sleepiness And A Shopping Spree
I didn't sleep much at all last night - or rather, this morning. I was marking 4 Band 2's speech-writing exercise from 2.30am to 5.30am. So I only had like an hour of sleep before I dragged myself out of bed for work.
Don't ask why I started marking the stack only at 2.30am. Sigh.
I'm just glad that it's over - for now anyway. There's going to be another stack coming in tomorrow after their speech-writing test. o_O''
I realise I haven't blogged in a while. I've been too tired to even go online everyday, let alone blog. Except to check my emails, that is.
Oh, I went shopping with Jocelyn on Sunday after service at New Creation. Hohohoh... I think I spent close to $600! Actually, I didn't buy a lot of stuffs. The bulk of the spending went to my 12 boxes of Acuvue contact lens - 6 months' supply at $450. Hoo-ha! After that I bought a bag and a blouse at Hushush and two pairs of pants at G2000.
Dinner was at Marina's Coffee Club. I've been quite a Coffee Club freak lately. I'm absolutely obsessed with their garlic prawn pasta. The one served at Marina was rather soggy though. I still prefer to eat at the outlets at Takashimaya and Hotel Rendezvous. Heh. ;p
I guess I should just GIVE UP losing weight. No motivation. ;\
jOyZ blogged at 9:05 AM
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Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Pissed
Perpetually
Igniting,
Sullenly
Seething,
Extremely
Dangerous.
Unless you wish to get burnt, otherwise I'd advise you to steer clear.
GET OUT OF THE WAY.
jOyZ blogged at 10:33 PM
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Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Clone Me!
Clone me! Just CLONE me!
All ethical issues aside, sometimes, I really wish I had a clone. Work is simply unending. I wish I had a clone to do all the marking for me while I just concentrate on lesson preparation and delivery.
But, of course, any experienced teachers or teachers with good sense will know that marking our students' work is something which we cannot run away from. There is no other way of knowing the quality of a piece of work except through a human's eyes and power of analysis. Why, if computers were so fantastic, God would have created a world of robots right at the start.
Still, sometimes I wonder how life would be like if I had a clone to do JUST ONLY my marking. But then I'd imagine I'd start piling a lot more stuffs on the poor chap to do while I'd probably end up doing nothing but either sleeping or munching chips and popcorns as I watch my precious VCDs. That's worse. Most pathetic.
The clone might have an identity crisis too and then probably run away to escape my tyrannical reign. With a twin running amok out there, I'd have a problem. For who could tell which of us is the real me?
jOyZ blogged at 7:04 PM
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Tuesday, January 10, 2006
A Mini-Break
It's a public holiday again. I'm glad for this mini-break. Work was simply horrible yesterday. I didn't have time to eat breakfast and lunch, and had to rush for driving lesson with my gastric. I nearly got into an accident during driving. I was too careless. I guess I was too tired as well. Sigh. Don't want to blog about it now. It's over.
Anyway, one lesson learnt: I'm not going to put driving lessons on Mondays ever again. It's just kamikaze.
My next driving lesson is on Thursday 3pm. I hope I won't be late this time.
I was tempted to just go home after driving and sleep early. At the last minute, I changed my mind and decided to force myself to eat something at Lot 1's foodcourt. I bought myself a bowl of chicken macaroni soup - simple shiok on a rainy day - and went home by bus. Naturally, I slept on the way back. I could feel my head banging against the bus window the whole time, but still I slept. Terribly tired.
I'm meeting Pikie for lunch later. We're going to Coffee Club because we couldn't get to eat what we wanted on Sunday when we had tea together with Melody and Sherlyn. The outlet at Paragon doesn't serve quite a number of dishes. I think my favourite outlet is the one at Hotel Rendezvous - super quiet and the seats are soOOoOoOo comfy! Anyway, we're probably going to the outlet where Zhen'ai is working at to eat - unless it rains. :x
Oh yeah, after tea on Sunday with the girls, I went shopping with Melody and Sherlyn while Pikie went for dinner with her family. I managed to buy a skirt, a bolero and a pair of shoes - thanks to Melody and Sherlyn, who helped me search for nice items when the sales assistant at Heeren's iS (seriously, some of their stuffs were really crap) urged me to buy more for some savings package. In the end, we couldn't find anything remotely flattering on me. Ahem, of course, that means I have to stick to my gym regime from now onwards.
Speaking of which, I went for gym with Karen last Friday and nearly died on the treadmills. ;x I only jogged for like ten minutes, walked for twenty minutes and cycled for fifteen minutes. By the time I was done, my legs were so wobbly and numb that I couldn't feel the ground while walking. Oh well... I must go again this Friday after staff meeting. I'll do it once a week first and then slowly increase the frequency to twice a week and maybe even to three times, depending on whether I have the time. I still have driving lessons to juggle with because I'm hoping to attend lessons twice a week.
Alright, I gotta go. I'm hungry! ;p~~~
jOyZ blogged at 9:34 AM
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Saturday, January 07, 2006
Hacked Into
Why would anyone want to hack into my account here?! Whoever it is, please just go away and GET A LIFE.
Sheesh.
I have no qualms about deleting all this. Like I will die if I can't blog.
May God's vengeance be upon you, you low-down scum of the earth. What goes around comes around.
jOyZ blogged at 2:20 AM
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Wednesday, January 04, 2006
How Much Worse Can It Get?
I think I've really got insomnia. After talking to a few people via MSN last night, I forced myself to sleep sometime after midnight. Once again, I didn't quite sleep until 2am or so. But somehow, I was able to drag myself out of bed at 6.10am and even reached school before 7am. I called for a cab of course. :p
Day 2 of school was manageable but I was truly exhausted especially after the House AGM. After that, I had just sufficient time to eat instant bowl noodles and had to rush off for two meetings, both of which ended pretty quickly though - thankfully. I stayed in school to finish up some work, but by the time I could leave for home, it was raining. =(
Maybe it's a good time for me to fall sick now. I'm so tired. I need the medicine to make me sleep! Sigh. This is so ridiculous.
I think I'm going to go for gym with Karen this Friday and then meet up with a couple of friends for dinner and drinks. Kinda fed up with some things. Don't wish to blog about them here. Yeah. They have kinda aggravated my insomnia. On the other hand, I probably had it coming. Nonetheless, the hurt is deep and there's nothing I can do about it.
Well... obviously the insomnia and exhaustion will last for quite a while.
Perhaps it's a good thing I haven't called up the driving school to continue with my driving lessons. I probably would have gotten into accidents by now. (Bah, and it's only the second day of work!)
Why? Well, I nearly scalded myself while cooking dinner a while ago. I was pouring boiling water from the electric flask and for some inexplicable reason (okay, I guess my brain chose that moment to malfunction) I pressed the button which flipped the cover of the flask up, causing more water to gush out. I panicked and pulled my hand away, dragging the bowl along with it such that the bowl fell into the sink, emptying its content (my precious dinner) while the boiling water splashed onto the stove. In that split second, I realised I had somehow released the electric flask which landed on the stove, thankfully in its upright position. I nearly freaked out. 9_6!
Somehow my brain and my hands couldn't make any connection. Sigh.
Well, that was that. I'm too tired to cook myself another bowl after throwing away the food and clearing up the mess. So yeah, I'm tired and hungry and I'm suffering from insomnia so I can't even go to sleep and forget about everything.
How much worse can it get?
jOyZ blogged at 8:00 PM
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Tuesday, January 03, 2006
First Day Of School
I usually dread the first day of school, but this year I dreaded it even more because I missed my ex form class terribly. Now that I recall the past few years of 'first days', I realise I'd actually quite enjoyed my time with them.
It's not that my present form class is horrible. They're a fine bunch - just need to be more cohesive and focussed. I guess it's just the feeling of losing that sense of familiarity and rapport which had been built painstakingly over the past 3 years with my ex form class .
Anyway, what really brightened up my day was the appearance of 3 ex-pupils - Candice, Melody and Sherlyn. =) Honestly, the minute I saw Sherlyn, I was like... my good monitress!!! I need one so very badly now!!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha...
Well, I was really glad to see them in the morning. It was a good thing I had a couple of free periods before my next lesson so I was able to have breakfast with them - in the school canteen! They all looked so grown up now with -ahem- make-up on their faces. It was a pity I couldn't spend more time with them because I had some paper work to finish by noon. They promised to visit again during CNY. I hope many of them (if not all) will come back though. I'm very sure many of their teachers will be glad to see them again.
I was able to continue with the rest of the day thereafter. Lessons were more or less pleasant with 4H and 4G. 4H was pretty on task with CorelDraw today though a couple of pupils were caught surfing on the Internet. Otherwise, they were generally quiet and on task. 4G can be a little talkative and easily distracted. I realise I had to keep calling "4G, 4G" to get their attention. They are rather pleasant kids otherwise - though I could see a glimmer of mischief in some of their eyes.
I haven't seen 3E yet. It's a huge class of 42 pupils. Wow. I sure hope there are a few pupils who are pretty strong in their language. *crosses fingers and toes*
After that, I had a brief discussion with Marianne on what to do for the 3NA this week and then everyone had to rush for a meeting at the AVT at 2pm. By the time it ended, it was 4.45pm. I was completely zonked. I had a very horrible night; couldn't sleep until almost 2am. I only sprang out of my bed at 6.30am. Thank goodness my dad offered to send me to work or I would have been terribly late!
It's almost 8pm now. I think I'm going to cook some noodles for dinner. Lunch was late at around 5pm. Eric had some cakes and curry puffs left over from his House meeting and I gobbled down a couple. They weren't quite lunch, but well I had to make-do with what was available. It was a good thing I had breakfast with the girls in the morning.
Until I blog again... Au revoir.
jOyZ blogged at 7:31 PM
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Sunday, January 01, 2006
The Start Of 2006
It's the start of another year. I don't know why, but I don't seem to feel excited at all. Maybe it's because... oh, never mind!
I went to view 3 apartments along Bukit Timah Road with my parents yesterday afternoon. I like the second one we saw. The size was just right and the resident's elevator leads right up into the apartment! You tap this card (like how it works with ez-link) over a sensor and it brings you right into your apartment! No matter how hard you press the buttons to go to the other levels, the elevator will not respond. So security is pretty high in that sense. There's also a visitor's elevator which leads to the common corridor. In case the resident's elevator breaks down, at least there's the alternative of using the visitor's elevator. =) It's a bit on the pricey side though - $850k. ;O
Anyway, we're running out of time. The latest we have to decide on a place and finish negotiation with the owner is the end of this month. If no renovation is required, we probably will have a little bit more time. But that would mean we have to narrow our search on just new apartments and how would we know the condition of the unit if we don't view it in the first place? And viewing apartments takes time. Sigh.
Okay, that's that.
I didn't do anything much after viewing the apartments and stayed at home while many people partied outside and waited for the countdown. I didn't even catch the countdown programme on tv. I slept late though - at around 3am and woke up at 11.30am today.
What a way to start the year. Hah. I seriously hope I won't have problems waking up for work on Tuesday! ;x
Anyway, there's a possibility we might be viewing more apartments today. If not, it'll be tomorrow. I feel like my whole life has come to a halt because of this intensive search for a new home. Heh.
Oh, and guess what? Right now, I've got this craving for salted popcorns - since Friday! I've got like 3 packets right in front of me, enticing me to throw one of them into the microwave to pop! Haha! Let's see if I'll succumb to the temptation eventually... ;p
Wishing all an exhilarating and enriching 2006!
jOyZ blogged at 1:34 PM
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